how did you summon me from blood and bedsheet equations and how did you pull me like teeth from your budgeted mouth? you are highly improbable. is that why you're so easy to hate? I need to become truth and see farther, so that you might see. you have another truth you don't need to see. when will I understand you? I was not born of a virgin and now my sheets are stained, too. do you recognize the blood between my hairs, eyeblack and red and does it bend like snakes for you? did you invoke me with a whistle soft as wood rots, and did you hear them stop just now, the solemn footsteps behind us? who is tracking us, down through the centuries? or is that me, and I am you?
Author: catedesens
sullen poem found on a paper bookmark
bleary in the mid-morning. people on the phone shape love outside my ears like a ball you make by throwing from your chest. from pomegranate fogs other headaches catch up and hijack the dreams. no thought will rescue me and no thought worth rescuing what Ego has brought me: magpie pity, vain as silver mirrors. i need company.
yellow and death
no yellow like yellow never corned upon these shoulder hills patient to unfold meander to the car like cows and lick us, be wet, look: rockabye palest and gentlest yellow hills know we will never stop to love them again and indeed we are hardly stopping now. shoulder hills euthanized with asphalt-blanket, so we take it, split to sea, pretending hills that open so easy as rest reminisced as dream where we still have power.
processing
so I failed. I abandoned my baby. my goals remain desires, out of reach. so I failed. But now I hold Slow eyes of mountains, clarity. I see what I am: processing machine. all I need to process is breathe.
fertile bush
for L
although you live lovers ago you don't leave me lone if you're gone stay gone if you're gone, are you gone? my memory is side to side slip like snake down a hole. my body remembers us scared to kiss cuz it's gross. if you're gone, are you gone? insisting hands at night only, secret wine stolen pride. yesproud of my fat where you slap cuz it's chrysalis change i am, change you, with my ears, got me? go me. for failing and [ ] failing again. nothing is ever over. every Friday we puke and buy more pens you protest settled shit got me panicking like where we gonna hide from ourselves this time the edibles hit buglove this smog sunset's wasted on you. you're wine in my skin i'm wasted on you.
bliss
crosslegged in the bedroom (just me) recounting hair, which begins life under the skin. such is sin subliminal, pull pussy out your eyelids til the whites run from your eyes they all runny dewey satisfied wash my sin, liquid contagious coarse like hair. I fucked an angel- & I really should give in- sleep with an angel, wake up with an angel- but apathy is bliss-
while you’re at work
curve of the earth
birthday of the canon
the curse you live w/
is a hiccup, blind burst plans
never to happen
I mean imagine:
you say it back
comb lover I'm love-hungry
comb lover, come:
love me
precision-map the river valley
my triangles unspiral
make heady patterns,
like illusion
alluding that you're ready
might just do it while you're at work
& sleep soundly.
elevator
flowerbasket
Rain spurts & starts groundward like shirts do weighing little as love weighs a cool wind blown sideways thru window of my receiving, body. Touched & taught by a cool wet wind that searches as tongues do on each flat roof a hundred puddles make time felt as drums do like your heartbeat tugs the hair on my arms, music, rain.
smells drowned
without their names,
the drip at the tip of the leaf
dropped
to the street,
which once implied
faces. How can I translate?
transmitting all at once, an event, a touch of the visual.
Rain & &
spurts stops stirs
so I mishear the future
in the past.
Revelation makes me laugh (what else?)
like I found it and lost it,
the flowerbasket
sent downriver
in the rain.
cdzhouse 